All opinions are in and it's 2 against 1. 2 recommends no surgery... risky, may not help much, so why put myself through it and suffer the highly likely side effects of further immediate disabilities. We are still waiting on input from Dr. Berger in San Francisco. I'm not expecting a different opionion at this point... and at this point, I'm not sure that it matters much. Surgery scares me.
I woke up from a nap today, and thought this was all a bad dream. But then, the pressure in my head took over. It's not a headache, it's just intense pressure.
I am pushing to get a picture of this thing that is invading my brain. While I've seen the MRI, and I know what it looks like. I want to have a picture of it in my room. Mom thinks it's silly.. I'll obsess over it... I might. But I want to see what I'm fighting. I want to look at it every day and say, I'm going to beat this.
The biopsy is next Wednesday at 8am. I'm hoping it will be outpatient surgery. It will depend on how deep they need to go to get a good piece of tissue. And unfortunately a biospy of the brain is a little different than a biospy of the boob.... it takes more than a needle. They actually have to remove part of my skull, then replace it.
Greg is working to figure out what my insurance will be when we get married. So far good news. No preexisting condition and no waiting period. Now I need to make sure my oncologist is in their network. If this all comes together, the wedding will be April 17th. Everyone who loves me and who is praying for me will be invited. I hope you can be there. Since I'm not sure how I will be feeling at the time of the wedding, we're not planning an elaborate affair or a big dinner. I want to focus on the celebration of marriage, it's meaning, Greg, my family and my new family. Of course we'll do something to make it memorable.
I've been sharing Hannaha's words of wisdom, here's one from Todd... “Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” And.. my brother is coming home this weekend to watch movies and pig out on ice cream with me.
Lindsey - I just learned of your news and this blog. Received a letter from your mom today in my office concerning your tuition refund. Please call me with any questions or help you need with the university. I'll take care of everything there for you. 660-543-4618. I'm praying for you. You are the strongest woman I know. Your strength and all the love and prayers worked 11 years ago and they can again!!!! From Gretchen
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