Love of my Life

Love of my Life
Happy moments... Praise God. Difficult moments... seek God. Quiet painful moments... Trust God. Every moment... Thank God.

September 12, 2010

We are not alone - The Walk

It's Sunday morning and while we are not in church, I'm spending some time with God.

People will say to the Morris family, "I don't know how you're doing it."

Talk to any Christian who has been through a valley, a deep life trauma, and you will hear much of the same thing: "I don't know how I did it, but somehow I made it through."

While the journey of Lindsey's "Return of the Tumor" continues, we push through. There is no question that it's difficult and uncertain. In the blink of an eye things changed for us like a rain of brimstone. The diagnosis has at times left us weak-kneed and shattered. However, these are the moments faith is made of. The Bible supports this. The more we need faith, the more faith we are given. The more we completely trust God, the deeper that trust grows.

Faith and power are gifts that go hand in hand, and they come from the source of all power, the Holy Spirit. Call it what you will -- stamina, courage, tenacity, hanging on, resilience -- it is that touch of the divine miracle, when we feel like we can't take another step. But, then we do. We were somehow strengthened beyond our understanding to stand a little longer, to take one more move forward, or to go a little beyond the totally helpless feeling of being out of control.

God's gift of faith and power are always adequate, no matter how desperate our situation has become. Exhaustion and frustration may have burdened us down so that we wonder if we will ever recover again. The pain unrelenting, the anticipated loss overwhelming, the void of a child damning. But God's power is great enough to get us through this desperate and challenging period of our life.

We are finding that we can and will go on. We will pick up the pieces and face our fears. We can find peace in the rubble. And, we can have courage.

We see acts of Jesus daily. Acts such as... my sister, Nancy who has reduced her work schedule to spend time with Lindsey during the day; friends who stop by to bring Lindsey her favorite food or Mom her favorite bottle of wine... a cash gift to help loved ones travel... 180+ people who participated in the Head for the Cure 5k to support finding a cure for cancer... businesses that sponsor fund-raisers or donate space to host events, a continuous stream of cards, notes, and messages.. employers who are supportive and understanding... and a family whose continued love and support lift us up everyday. The list goes on, just like the love of Jesus that never stops.

Regarding Lindsey...

Pain was the topic during the middle of the week. We were having trouble getting out in front of it which effected Lindsey's ability to rest. In addition, Lindsey was having sporadic, little seizures. Adjustments to the meds occurred and by Friday things were much better. Lindsey was also more verbal on Friday which was a nice treat for all of us. We love hearing her voice, seeing that twinkle in her eye and her smiles. She is frustrated by her inability to easily move about the house, and to go places. As she said to me Friday night... "You by my chair during the week is fine. Weekends are for going. I want to go, to lay in the hammock, to get out." On Saturday, the getting out consisted of spending time on the first floor of our house, instead of her room (which requires someone to come over and help carry Lindsey downstairs), lunch with a couple of friends that stopped by, and time basking in the sun on the deck, along with a chance to wash Lindsey's hair while she lay there quietly enjoying the beautiful fall day. We offered to take her into town in the evening but her day had been full. She was ready to have dinner and get ready for bed. She slumbered on the living room floor so that she could enjoy another day "out" on Sunday.

In the hubbub of of our lives, God is with us -- He opens the door for us to love one another and to bring light to someones darkness. The Morris family greatly appreciates everyone who is lightening the burden for us. You're helping to heal our spirit that is wounded. Thank you.


  1. Amen! We continue to lift the entire Morris family (and surrounding community of friends and loved ones) in prayer - what a testimony to God's light within each of us, even when we feel it dimming amidst the chaos...He is holding you in His arms with every breath you take!

  2. Your sister Nancy is an amazing woman.

  3. I heard it said once, A lady said she had many trials but these trials would make her stronger. Someone else told her it isn't the trials that make you strong it is how you give it to God and let him handle them that makes us stronger. I am always amazed and blessed that through the pain I hear and see the love of God and family is always there. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

  4. I was listening to Josh Wilson's CD today as I sat down to read your blog, and the song "Before the Morning" came on. Every time I hear that song I think of Lindsey and here I was reading Lindsey's blog. I guess that is what you might call "A God moment." This is a very deeply touching post that resonates loudly with me!! Although I am going through similar things with my mom and her brain cancer fight that you are going through with Lindsey, I feel I am not in the same place that you are in with your faith. I am trying....just not there yet...... Therefore, your continued strength and profound words (that come from somewhere deep within your soul) always give me hope and encouragement. Sandy, you have a gift for writing. Thank you for sharing your journey and for sharing your heart.

  5. Sandy-Profound words of wisdom and so true. We have all jumped the hurdles of pain but only with turning it over can we keep moving day to day. You have touched us all with your words and heart and Lindsey has left an imprint on all our hearts. Thanks for sharing and thanks that you keep us up to date by letting us in on your journey of faith. May God continue to comfort all of you as you walk this path.