April 25, 2010
Hello - I'm back - It's an update from Lindsey!
Hi... It's Lindsey, and I'm telling my mom what to type. It's been awhile since I've given anything to my Mom.
I'm back! It's been a great week. Almost perfect. Well other than the fact that I have a brain tumor. But I'm coping pretty well. The wedding was awesome. Greg and I stayed at the Chauteu Avalon and it was incredible. The rooms there were so cool. We spent an hour and half just touring the different rooms and taking pictures.
Taking Greg to the airport was hard. It was not a nice day. I miss him. I cried, and cried, and cried again. I'm looking forward to seeing him on May 15 when my mom and I take a road trip to Ohio. We're hoping Hannah can get off work so she can join us and of course help with the driving since I can't drive.
I went to see Steve Curtis Chapman perform Friday night. He was really good. My mom kinda forgot though how being around a lot of people makes my head hurt. It's like there is to much to focus on. We listened to him in the lobby and had some coffee. And, I bought a really cool shirt. The front says "I'm Cinderella". The back says "the dance will go on." (check out the picture) I love that because I know that in heaven I will be dancing with high heal shoes on! Something I can't do right now. Oh yeah, then we topped off the night with ice cream sundaes from Winsteads. It was a fun night with some of my Mom's friends, who are also my friends, and my friend Jennifer.
Steven Curtis Chapman has a really sad story though. A story that is worse than mine. His daughter died... she was accidentally run over by his son. I can't imagine. That would be awful.
So.. I've been thinking... since I'm feeling pretty good right now I'm wondering if I should talk with Dr. Taylor about chemo again. It's hard because I don't want to die, at least not right now. But at the same time I want to have fun and be able to do things like see my new husband and have fun with him, do things with my family and hang out with my friends. The last 2 days I've begun to feel more like my old self (minus the vision problems and speech problems). I've also been sleeping better also. I know that chemo will make me sick, and tired, and crankly, and no fun to be around. Since I've been exploring this question, my family have begun sharing stories of what I was like while on all the meds. It's strange because it's as if they are talking about a person I don't know. I don't remember. So God, help me with this decision. I know you're out there. I have proof because you've already answered many prayers. So.. help me with that question please. I still get very sad about all of this when I think about it because Greg and I were suppose to have 4 kids, buy a house close to my parents, and grow old together.
In the mean time, I have some fun things planned. Tomorrow my Mom and I will take a road trip to MU to see my brother. I haven't been down to campus at all, nor have I seen his duplex.
Wednesday I'll spend the day with my Aunt Nancy, and hopefully a couple of people will come by for the Chat and Chew. If not, no biggie... as I can Chat and Chew with my Aunt. Thursday and Friday I'm having a garage sale at my Aunt's. I have some good stuff to sell. Then the really exciting thing is my college graduation on May 8th! And then the next week we road trip to Ohio to see Greg and his family. Somewhere in between Mom and I will plant flowers, the garden, etc.